the circle

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The teenage years can be filled with excitement and the promise of a life ahead, but they can also be times of great confusion, anxiety, and apprehension as young people deal with the biological and emotional changes these years bring.

Purpose and meaning, based on a solid raft of personal values, offer a structure that provides a sense of stability and direction during these difficult years.

The desire for acceptance and belonging, combined with social and cultural pressures to conform to specific gender stereotypes, can result in young people building emotional barriers and hiding their true selves.

Understanding the factors influencing self-belief and self-esteem are important steps to developing strategies to build and maintain a positive self-view.

Despite the progress made over recent years on gender identity, young people remain subjected to a myriad of cultural and social messages influencing their self-view. 

Gender stereotypes continue to have a significant impact on how young people look and act, and the life choices they make. Understanding the social and cultural influences on gender stereotypes, and their impact, gives young people the choice to break free and become their own person.  

Relationships are central to young peoples' identity, acceptance, and sense of belonging. Relationships are all about building trust with others and understanding the fundamental principles of respect and consent.

Young people will learn how to differentiate a good relationship from a bad one, and to understand their responsibilities and accountability in developing and maintaining strong, positive relationships with others.

 Anger and aggression are all too common during adolescence, when young people are driven by emotions rather than logic. Young men in particular are prone to resorting to anger and aggression to cover up other emotions such as anxiety, sadness and fear.

Understanding the underlying cause of anger is the key to learning how to respond to it appropriately, rather than simply react to it.

Young people also learn how to respond to other peoples’ anger and aggression through conflict de-escalation techniques like “Verbal Judo”.

Life can be confronting and confusing during the adolescent years. The demands of school, relationships, biological changes, and trying to develop individual personalities free from parental oversight, can give rise to situations where young people feel they can’t cope with everything that is going on. Add to this mix the increased desire to fit in and be accepted, while constantly comparing themselves to others, and the need for positive coping skills can be clearly seen.

Positive self-talk is an important skill for young people during this phase of life. Learning how to develop and maintain their mental fitness is also a key life skill.

 Lack of effective communication skills can be frustrating and lead to inappropriate behaviours when young people feel they are not being heard or that no one understands them. Boys in particular are taught early in life not to speak about subjects such as their emotions, inhibiting their ability to articulate them calmly and logically later in life. Adolescents are also more likely to misread body language, leading to misunderstandings and potential conflict.

Clear communication (both verbal and non-verbal) and active listening are important skills to have in one’s toolbox. Combined with basic verbal de-escalation skills, they help young people become more articulate and confident communicators. 

Young people are digital natives; however, they don't always consider the wider implications and risks of their interactions with others online. The rise of “Alternative Facts” and AI, combined with the explosion of social media “Influencers” creates a complex environment for young people to understand and navigate.

Understanding how social media algorithms work, the risks associated with sharing personal data on the internet, the role and impact of Influencers, and the importance of establishing a positive digital tattoo are important elements to interacting safely and positively with the online environment. 

Taking risks is part of growing up, especially during the teenage years when risks are the path to rewards such as acceptance, growth and social credits. However, the stage of incomplete development of the teenage brain can also result in the “Risk vs Reward” equation being miscalculated.

Understanding why they take risks, be it for personal growth, escapism, or peer group pressure, can assist young people in getting the sums right and avoiding, or at least mitigating the potential negative consequences of getting it wrong. 

It is an unfortunate fact of life that approximately 25% of young people will have experienced bullying at school and 20% will have been bullied online. In 85% of bullying interactions peers will be present during the bullying incident. Bullying is not only devastating for the victim, it can also have harmful consequences for the bully and witnesses. 

Considering this it is important to understand the reasons behind bullying and learn what can be done to address it – whether as the victim, perpetrator or bystander.

Young people today are bombarded with messages and images promoting the “Perfect Body”. Despite some progress in body positivity, young women are changing or enhancing their looks from an early age, while young men are focused on achieving the sculpted body, complete with six-pack and bulging muscles. 

Positive body image is about deriving pride and satisfaction in what your body can do, rather than what it looks like. It is important for their confidence and self-esteem for young people to develop their own style instead of following the trends which, by their very nature, are transitory. 

 There are some fundamental skills that every young person should be proficient in by the time they leave high school. 

These include basic skills such as personal hygiene, cooking a meal, washing and ironing clothes, and housekeeping. 

This topic is under development.

Michael has been delivering programs to my school for many years now. I have been in the education system for the last 17 years and can say wholeheartedly that no one has ever delivered programs better then him. His authenticity, passion, and ability to engage and connect with students of all walks of life is second to none.

Michael has lived and experienced many things in his life and is always an open book to the students. He uses his own experiences (good and bad) to help guide some kids through difficult times or experiences they may be facing or currently going through. Michael delivers his message through power point presentations, group discussions, videos, games, and fun activities that get the kids engaged with one another all while building a positive rapport with the students.

We have never had a student pull out before the completion of the program, in fact we have had kids whom I’ve never had any dealings with come and ask me if they could join Michael’s programs as they have heard great things themselves from other students.

Personally after seeing how great Michael connects with the young people, I have reached out for him to mentor my own son who was going through a rough time. My son commented on how easy it was to talk with him and that he wished Michael ran programs in his school.
 

 As a Youthworker in the ACT Public School system, it has been my pleasure sitting in on “The Circle”, a program created and led by Michael. Michael has a quiet confidence and charisma about him that is instantly captivating to the young men who are voluntarily participating in this program at our high school.

The students in our programs have individualised needs. Through his rich life experience and masterful self-reflections of very real and personal experiences, Michael manages to relate to and engage each of these young people in a way that I have not observed previously in their education journey. It is a genuine immersion based on mutual respect held by participants, for participants.

This connection is what allows for the program delivery and content to be so impactful. Concurrently as rapport is established, meaningful conversations are had amongst the circle about life, relationships, loss, trauma, values, safe pathways and positive masculinity - all in confidence. The structure of the lesson is dynamic, and Michael alters the delivery very naturally as the captivation of his audience peaks and wanes.

I haven’t had to propose any behaviour management strategies in the program at all. The responsibility of myself to the program doesn’t extend upon taking attendance and having Carer/guardian notes handed in. Therefore, I am also part of the circle program and feel that I learn from The Circle as a member of staff, and leave every session feeling refreshed. 

Once again, a pleasure to observe and further take part in this program, and I implore any organisation considering working with Michael in The Circle take the summary of my experience as an uncompromising recommendation.
 

What did you like about the program?

* The program was perfect and would definitely do it again. 

* I loved the program. I felt that I could open up. 

* How it teaches to hold your values close and stand true to them.

* We talked about real world issues for men, and how the environment was welcoming, and we were all accepted and listened to.

* I liked everything but my favourite part was being with an array of different people because I usually struggle to talk to new people.
  

* The view of other people and Michael. The way it helped me view thing in another way and helped me with things.

* I liked how Michael let us speak about our feelings and he listened well and gave good advice.

* Michael explained topics easier than most people, making it (for me) easy to learn.

*   I learned how to look deeper into myself and ask questions. Respect for myself and others.